THE NONLINEAR PATH 19: Light Your Flame

Cultivate Your Internal Energy To Protect, Grow, and Achieve What You Want In Life

Feb 06, 2025

Life is rarely straightforward. Our journeys are marked by obstacles, opportunities, and the need to adapt to ever-changing circumstances. To navigate this nonlinear path, one of the most powerful tools we can develop is our internal energy—a vital force that empowers us to protect our peace, grow our potential, and achieve our dreams.

This energy is not about physical strength alone. It is about awareness, control, and direction. When cultivated, it becomes a guiding force that allows us to remain steady in chaos, push forward when others hesitate, and extend our influence beyond ourselves.

In the early nineties, at the lowest point of my life, I embarked on a path of healing and personal growth through training in martial arts. One of the first things I learned how to do was to ‘light my flame’, another term for developing internal energy for protection and power. It remains one of the most valuable and useful lessons of my life so far.

This article explores the transformative power of cultivating your inner flame and how it enables you to channel energy toward meaningful action, growth, and influence.

Lighting Your Internal Fire

Cultivating internal energy begins with developing awareness and learning to control your emotions. In the study of martial arts, mastering emotions is key. Fear and anger top the list of emotions that can hold us back or cause unnecessary conflict.

The same applies to life. Having these emotions is not the problem; we all feel them. In fact, being able to identify, accept, and healthily process these emotions can turn them into valuable energy.

A story from Joe Hyams’ Zen and the Martial Arts provides a profound lesson in managing anger:

“Wing Chun workouts are often conducted at close range, and I soon became accustomed to feeling blasts of wind as hands and fists whirred dangerously close to eyes and face. Occasionally a partner would accidentally make contact, and then I would feel a surge of anger.
One day after a workout, Jim Lau called me aside. ‘When you get hit, you stiffen, and I sense anger and a desire to strike back,’ he said.

Jim Lau’s advice is timeless:

“It’s not bad to have aggressive or hostile feelings towards others. When you acknowledge these feelings, you no longer have to pretend to be that which you are not. You can learn to accept these moods. What is bad, however, is letting them dictate your nature.”

Anger doesn’t demand action. By acknowledging and controlling emotional responses, we can redirect energy away from destructive reactions and toward purposeful outcomes. True mastery begins with self-control. Without it, our internal energy becomes scattered and unproductive. With it, we can light our flame and fuel our growth.

Fear operates the same way. It can freeze us, keeping us from taking chances and stepping out of our comfort zones. In martial arts, no true practitioner eliminates fear. Instead, they learn to harness its energy and redirect it toward positive outcomes.

How do we do this? Through breath.

A flame needs oxygen. The breath acts as a grounding element while circulating fresh oxygen to the brain and throughout the body. By lowering our breathing deeper into our lungs, we slow time, create clearer thoughts, and gain control over our reactions.

Taking a moment to breathe, counting to ten, or sitting quietly for five minutes all serve to bring us back to our center. This is why meditation starts with focusing on breathing.

Try this: Sit still and close your eyes. Breathe deeply into your lungs in long, slow breaths. Instead of thinking of breathing as in and out, envision it as a constant circle. Almost instantly, you will feel your body relax and release. As you do, begin to expand your energy outward, from your center, through your limbs, and into the world.

This is how you light your flame. Now, you can focus on moving your energy forward.

The Power of Forward Energy

Once your internal flame is lit, you can channel its power into forward momentum. This requires courage, focus, and the willingness to step out of your comfort zone.

A personal story from my time at Columbia Sportswear in early 2002 illustrates this principle. Fresh from earning my first-degree black belt, I was a young design associate working at one of the largest outdoor companies in the world. My awareness, honed through martial arts, allowed me to recognize an emerging trend: the growing influence of performance apparel on fashion.

At the time, my role focused on designing for international markets. Yet, I saw an opportunity to create a women’s fashion-down collection for the U.S. and global markets. Despite hesitation, I decided to pitch my idea.

The result? A four-piece down collection that sold over 100,000 units upon launch and became the centerpiece of a global advertising campaign. This success generated millions in new revenue for the brand, earned me a promotion, and built my confidence to tackle even greater challenges.

Without realizing it, I had put into practice a principle the author Seth Godin calls leading side-by-side: moving forward when it is time, instead of waiting for permission.

In his daily blog he writes about what makes Orchestras difficult:

“One reason is that we’re really good at noticing when they’re out of tune. Just a tiny bit off changes our perception of the sound.
The other reason is that if the performers wait for a leader in their section to go first, every entrance and every attack will be muddled. You need to go when it’s time to go, not wait to follow closely behind.
Coordinating our tone and our tempo creates magic, and yet we often fail to lead, preferring to follow instead.” - Leading Side-By-Side, Seth Godin

Accomplishing this in life requires self-awareness and an ability to recognize the right moment to act—which we can achieve by cultivating forward energy and lighting our internal flame.

When we direct energy outward with intention, we create opportunities for growth and impact. Forward energy propels us beyond limitations, allowing us to turn ideas into action and challenges into victories.

Going Vast

As we grow, our energy gains the power to fill a larger space. This concept of going vast is about making a broader impact—extending influence, inspiring others, and mastering the art of presence.

Joe Hyams describes a breathtaking aikido demonstration that encapsulates this idea in the chapter Extend Your Ki, again from Zen And The Martial Arts by Joe Hyams:

“…on a trip to London some years ago, I noticed a poster advertising an aikido lecture and decided to attend.
The lecture took place in a store converted into a small dojo within the shadow of a London post-office tower. The practice hall was packed with spectators sitting cross-legged on a mat, watching the master, a young Japanese wearing a white tunic and black hekama, or skirt, the aikido costume of a master.
He looked fragile and vulnerable as he faced half a dozen men who circled him menacingly. As they began to close in on him, the master remained still, calm, and poised, standing in the eye of the hurricane. Suddenly, with loud shouts, they attacked him in unison.
What happened then was magnificent. The master seemed to flow like water into the mass. Swirling between them, his black skirt seemed to surround them. Every time they reached to strike his body, it was not there. As a gyroscope spins faster and faster, its motion appears more calm; so it was with the master as he diverted the energy of his attackers and projected them one by one out of the melee.
The master’s actions looked so effortless that I knew there was something below the surface which could not be readily seen, something unexplained. So there was, he said. It was ki, the invisible life force or energy that cannot be seen but that most martial artists, especially aikidoists, train to develop.”

This display of ki illustrates how energy can be expanded beyond oneself. The aikido master didn’t resist or force his attackers. Instead, he used their energy to create harmony and maintain control.

In life, extending energy can mean sharing knowledge, leading by example, or creating systems that uplift others. It’s about recognizing that our flame doesn’t diminish when shared; it grows brighter, filling the space around us and inspiring others to light their own.

Cultivate and Expand Your Flame

To thrive on the nonlinear path, we must light our internal flame, protect it, and allow it to grow. This journey demands self-awareness, discipline, and the courage to move beyond comfort zones. By cultivating internal energy, we gain the strength to face challenges, the clarity to pursue opportunities, and the presence to make a lasting impact.

Your inner flame is your most powerful resource. Nurture it, direct it with intention, and let it shine as a beacon for yourself and others.